


Your Hoodie

by KureKai_King



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Death, Depression, Hoodie - song inspiration, Lost Love, M/M, Tiny comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-25 15:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16200455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KureKai_King/pseuds/KureKai_King
Summary: "I'm still rocking your hoodie ... it makes me think about you so I wear it when I sleep"After an unknown incident, Otoya is put into hospital in a critical condition despite having surgery to help save him. When he unfortunately passes away with his final words being of thanks to his lover and his father, Tokiya must come face to face with the reality that his once bright and sunny world has now returned to a gloomy dark and rainy one.And, as much as he would hate to admit it, Tokiya only had one comfort at night. Otoya's, now slightly dull due to wear, red hoodie.[Tokiya's POV]





	Your Hoodie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lana_Fair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_Fair/gifts).



> Song inspiration: Hoodie by Hey Violet

The hospital room felt cold and lifeless. The only sound was that of Otoya's ragged breathing as he lay there in the hospital bed, and I sat at his side, stroking his hair back soothingly. Shining was outside talking with nurses and doctors, trying to make sense of the situation. We've no real idea of what happened, just having received a call about two hours ago that Otoya had been brought into hospital. He'd just gotten out of surgery. But something told me that a dark cloud was looming over him and it wouldn't be chased away.

"To...Tok-kiya...?" Otoya coughed out. I winced inwardly at how weak he sounded. It hurt. "..." He panted for a little bit, trying to gather up enough strength to talk again, "Tokiya... Pr-Promise me something, o-okay...?" I nodded and squeezed his hand. This didn't feel good. This wasn't right. "Promise... Promise me that, when I'm gone, that...th-that you won't be sad, T-Tokiya... I'd hate for...you to be...sad..."

He smiled up at me with tired but loving eyes. I felt tears already pricking at the corners of my own. Shining came in then and silently took up the other seat on Otoya's other side, clasping his free hand in between his large ones. I suppose a father knew just like a mother says they have an instinct. Otoya smiled a little more but it wasn't before long that his heart began to slow, his breathing shallowed and his eyes slipped closed.

"Thank you...for everything..."

And those were Otoya Ittoki's final words before he was taken away from the world. Away from my world.

* * *

I will never shake off the feeling or memory of how cold Otoya's body was when I had no choice but to let go of his hand. The cold suited me, not him. The essence of the literal sun itself shouldn't feel cold. Otoya had always been warm, ever so warm. I could always recall how he would radiate that warmth in his many forms; a smile, bright eyes, hyperactive energy, cuddling beneath a thin blanket because clearly the material wasn't efficient enough. There were so many ways.

It felt like even the sun itself had died with him that afternoon. I can't be sure if it was just a hallucination from my imagination or not, but after Otoya had drawn his last breath, the light of the room dimmed and clouds covered the sunlight shining down onto the world. Even Shining didn't seem to be capable of living up to that fake name of his. Can't say I blame him, losing your son is hard enough as it is, and from what Otoya had told me from his different family discoveries; Shining hadn't known of his existence in the first few years of his life.

After being ushered from the hospital, Shining and I made the deadly silent trip back home. Or what used to be home. I doubt it'd ever feel like home without Otoya there anymore. Even when he went away for that trip with Otori Eiichi it felt a little lonesome, however I knew that he would come back someday from that...despite the events that occurred afterward with that chilling late night phone call. This time Otoya really wouldn't be coming back to STARISH. He really wouldn't be able to smile anymore.

The building felt empty of life when I walked in and it wasn't too long before I saw everyone else. By the looks on their faces reflecting what I imagined was mine, I guessed they already knew the outcome. That, and Otoya clearly wasn't with me...

There was nothing but a stunned silence between all of us until Syo suddenly ran out of the room and his frantic, heavy footsteps echoed down the hall. I didn't blame him, Otoya was close with him. Not to say he wasn't just as close with the others, but those two had a special connection that made them our famous Golden Duo for a reason - as they had begun to refer themselves as at times. It did pain me to see a dear friend that way.

Before I could see anyone else turn away in hurt, I escaped myself.

* * *

Stepping into the room I had always shared with Otoya hurt a lot. Darkness crawled out from every nook and cranny as I shut the door behind me and the silence was deafening. My entire chest ached like I had never felt before, and all I could think in that single moment was; did I just lose my soulmate? Was this what that felt like? Would it ever even stop, even just for a single second? I doubt that it will. 

I slowly took a seat on the edge of Otoya's bed, his scent still lingered there from last night. My fingers curled into the sheets for a grip, a feeble attempt to still hold a part of him. You'd think I would finally cry. Because that's how you're supposed to deal with stuff like this, isn't it? But I'd promised Otoya I wouldn't be sad, at least not on the outside. If that was his final wish then I was to uphold that the best I could.

That was when I noticed it, the time was getting late. I'd been sitting in the blankness of my thoughts for longer than I'd expected. I guessed I should be heading to bed myself. So I got up and dragged myself to the bathroom to wash my face and clean my teeth, changing into my usual nightwear and padding back into the bedroom. I slipped into bed and stared up at the ceiling, emotionless. 

I couldn't sleep. It wasn't fair that I was here and he wasn't. There was no rustling of his restless slumber from the other bed. No light snores or soft chuckles as he dreamed. There was no warmth in this room anymore. He truly was gone, and I was going to have to face facts and live with the reality of that. So I got up and looked around before it hit me. 

His hoodie.

The red hoodie he was so fond of wearing still hung on the end of the bedpost, and even though I knew this was stupid to do and would make me seem weak, I did it anyway. I crawled over and took the hoodie, the material soft yet well worn. Settling back, I cradled it to my chest, the hood resting on my shoulder. Surprisingly, it helped. A little. Okay, a lot. 

And so there I lay, hugging close the hoodie of my late lover, eyes closed and waiting for sleep to claim me. And there was a part of me, a little part of me...that hoped I wouldn't wake up.

**Author's Note:**

> Gifted because you deserve the very best, unlike what these two got, oops ^^;


End file.
